Fines Doubled....

While driving on I-95 through Connecticut I realized a truth about life. During the last four years I have seen a lot of construction on that highway. I have seen crew with bright orange vests, signs with bright orange trim, cones with bright orange stripes, and angry drivers with bright red faces. It seems that as soon as one strip of road is dredged up and repaired another strip immediately falls into ruins and needs repairing, non stop for four years. It has reached the point where I intensely fear the drive through the state. For years I thought it was simply because of flawed work that leaves the road defenseless to the high daily traffic that rips up the road in record speed, but maybe it’s done for some other purpose.

What if there are people like that, always under construction. I have seen those people. They are constantly changing, reinventing, and dredging. Uncomfortable in their own selves they must continually exfoliate it off and rebuild new skin. The people around them always have to deal with this and for the most part just move on.

I must confess, I think I may be one of these people but, is it because I do such a shitty job of fixing my problems I’m bound to fall into disrepair or maybe I really believe I can be a better person? Or perhaps I just like the attention. Although I’d like to think it wasn’t true I could just like the attention because they always say negative attention is attention none the less, but for certain reasons I think this is the weaker of the three. It is quite possible I constantly fall into disrepair because I don’t think I truly know how to fix any of my own problems but, I think the best answer is that I really believe I can be better than I am. I guess the majority of people think this way, but it must be true that, for some people, there just cannot be a better version no matter how positive or negative they are right now.

So, I’m really banking on the fact that I am not one of those people and there is, somewhere, a better version of me that someday somebody will meet. In the mean time I apologize for anyone who has had to put up with this first hand and I applaud those few that stick it out, because, like the Connecticut highway, I will probably always be under construction.